Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Randomize
