Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
