I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Randomize
