I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
