I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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