my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
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