No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
