he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
I will pee on everything he values.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
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