It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Randomize
