During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
