Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
how does that bad decision feel?
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