Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Randomize
