Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
handjob tips. give me some.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
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I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
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You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
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