New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
