I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
How external is "for external use only"?
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize