Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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