all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
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