There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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