I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
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