He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
