you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Randomize
