it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
