He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
