so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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