I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
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