i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
operation have a gay friend backfired
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Randomize
