even my farts smell like vagina
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Randomize