shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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