making cat noises will not fix the situation.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
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