It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
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