my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Randomize
