You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize