Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
Randomize
