Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
I'm drive I can fine osifer
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bring money and cleavage
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Just high enough for therapy.
Randomize