she smelled like a LAN party
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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