I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
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