when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Randomize
