How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Randomize
