just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Randomize