and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
pray to the hookup gods
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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