Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
