How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Randomize
