U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Randomize
