She went from zero to smokin in five shots
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
