Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
My vagina is very pro this idea
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
