Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Randomize
