u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
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