Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
I had to cum in my sink.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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