...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
