i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize