I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Is that strawberry winking at me??
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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