Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
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He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
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I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
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