should my penis look like a turkey
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Randomize
