ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize