Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
