i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
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