this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
