xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Randomize
