Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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