The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
I think people are normalizing furries
Randomize
