Apparently you make a good broom.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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