I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I wish i was in the wii world.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Randomize
