This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
Randomize
