I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Randomize
