i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize