Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
